


it all grows tense, it all burns down

by aelandair



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Blood and Injury, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:47:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27052882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelandair/pseuds/aelandair
Summary: Hux knows that he shouldn't be involved with Kylo Ren. Everything about this relationship is a terrible idea. He knows, with absolute certainty, that the thing between them will end in flames. And yet, here he is, undoubtedly involved with Kylo Ren, barrelling headfirst towards his own doom, already burning.(or: a look at their relationship at three different points in time)
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 14
Kudos: 49





	it all grows tense, it all burns down

**Author's Note:**

> Another story that was originally written for KMNU, based on [this](https://enigmaticagentalice.tumblr.com/post/60399305863/fictional-couples-who-are-on-a-permanent-last-name) Tumblr post about characters referring to each other by their last names, titles, and finally, first names in moments of distress. 
> 
> Content warnings can be found in the end notes, as always!

i. 

They’re both panting as they pull apart, hearts beating fast, eyes still closed. 

Hux can’t quite wrap his head around what is happening right now, but he’s not opposed to it. Ren’s good looking enough, he supposes, and if there’s any way to get him to shut his mouth for more than a second, Hux isn’t going to just ignore that. 

(It has nothing to do with the way it makes his entire body tingle when Ren looks at him, or any of the other things Hux doesn’t let himself think about.) 

Ren smirks, his face flushed, lips swollen, and strokes his gloved thumb over Hux’s cheek. 

“What do you think, Hux? Is this something you could get behind?” 

Hux fights the urge to make a crude remark about how he wants to get behind  _ Ren _ , but judging by the way Ren’s smirk widens, he knows what Hux wants to say anyway. 

Without saying anything, Hux leans forwards again, capturing his lips in a searing kiss. Ren responds in kind without hesitation, pressing in close, pushing Hux back against his desk. Ren’s hands are very large, and they feel very nice. Hux would like to feel them on his skin, exploring elsewhere, but that will have to wait for now. 

He loses track of time as they kiss and kiss and kiss. 

This is, objectively, a terrible idea. They work together, and they don’t even particularly like each other, and Hux doesn’t want to think of all the horrible things Snoke would surely do to them if he found out. 

But. 

He can’t find it in himself to care, because Ren’s touch and the taste of him are slowly but surely making him lose his mind. 

After what feels like ages, they break apart again. Hux feels hot all over. 

“Ren,” he gasps, and he didn’t want it to sound like that, so needy, but he can’t take it back now. 

There’s a warmth in Ren’s gaze that makes something ache in his chest, makes it hard to breathe. Hux tries to ignore it. This is dangerous, he shouldn’t allow his thoughts to go down that path. 

(He has the terrible feeling that, once he does, he won’t be able to turn back.) 

“Do you want this, Hux?” Ren whispers, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses to his jaw, down his neck. 

_ Do you want me _ is what he doesn’t say, but Hux knows he’s thinking it anyway. He swallows. He shouldn’t say  _ yes _ . Saying  _ yes  _ feels like walking right towards his own demise, and he’s smarter than that. 

And yet, he knows he can’t say anything else. Can’t say anything but the truth. 

He grips Ren’s hair and pulls him back, looks into his dark eyes. 

“Ren,” he says again, because it’s important that Ren knows, that he understands. 

Then Hux takes a deep breath, nods, and. 

“Yes.” 

  
  


ii.

There’s a dull ache pounding behind his eyelids, but Hux can’t afford to rest. He has too much to do, still, has to clean up after all this mess. It’s the only thing he’s good for, now, apparently. He has to show that he’s still worth something, and he won’t do that by going to sleep. 

The Supreme Leader turns his gaze towards him abruptly, and Hux stiffens involuntarily. With his hands behind his back, he can grip his own wrist so tightly his joints hurt, and no one will see it. 

“You look exhausted, General.” 

Hux swallows, and blinks away the burning sensation in his eyes. He doesn’t want to hear these words. 

“Don’t worry about me, Supreme Leader,” he says, trying to make his voice sound flat, emotionless. He’s not sure if he succeeds. 

Calling him Supreme Leader still feels wrong, somehow, Snoke’s title now used to refer to someone he used to- 

But no, he’s not thinking about that now, about the past, how things were, years ago, when Snoke was still alive and Starkiller merely existed on paper. A part of him longs to go back in time, but he knows that’s not possible. Whatever once was, it’s over now. He can only go forward. 

“General. Go. Rest. That’s an order.” 

His voice is so familiar, and at the same time not familiar at all. His face is different, and yet the same face Hux has seen countless times. 

That’s what hurts most of all, Hux thinks: How things can be so normal and yet so wrong. 

Like they used to be, and nothing like that at all. 

The ache has spread down to his neck, where he can still feel the bruises, even though they’re long faded, and to his side. To the centre of his chest, too, making it feel like his heart is being crushed by an invisible hand. He wouldn’t be surprised if that were actually the case, he knows the Force can do that. He’s seen it happen before, back then, and he’d thought it had been the most beautiful and terrifying thing he’d ever witnessed. He doesn’t want to think about what they did after, passionate and bloody, adrenaline still running high. 

Swallowing, because there’s a lump in his throat suddenly, Hux stands straighter, makes his gaze hard and icy, grips his wrist tighter, the leather of his gloves creaking. 

“Are you sure about that?” he asks, because he’s still scared this is a trap, and as soon as he turns his back, the Supreme Leader will strike him down, put an end to his pitiful existence. 

Hux isn’t sure he doesn’t deserve it, for all the wrong decisions he’s made in his life that have led to this particular point in time. 

The Supreme Leader nods. There’s something in his eyes, but he’s too far away for Hux to be able to discern what exactly it is, and as soon as he’s noticed it’s there, it’s gone again. Then, to his surprise, the Supreme Leader lifts his hand. 

Hux clenches his teeth, hard, so hard he can feel it in his entire body, braced for whatever might come. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s scared. It’s a feeling he’d thought he’d never have to feel again, yet here he is. Scared. 

The Supreme Leader lets his hand fall down again and turns away from him, walking towards the viewport, gazing out at the vast nothingness of space. 

“I am. Go now, General. You’re of no use to me when you can barely stay standing.” 

Hux nods, swallows down the bitter bile rising in his throat. 

“As you wish, Supreme Leader.” 

He waits a second longer, because he’s foolish, despite everything, but there’s only silence. Finally, Hux allows himself to let his posture slump, just slightly. He’s shaking all over, and he hates it, hates it with every fibre of his body, the fact that he can’t control himself, and that he can’t control any of this. He hates it all. 

To leave now feels monumental in a way he can’t describe. His chest is stinging terribly, but Hux isn’t thinking about it. He’s not thinking about anything, his mind carefully blank. If he would start thinking now, he’s certain he would shatter to pieces right here in the throne room, and wouldn’t that be a sight. 

Hux looks away from the Supreme Leader, closes his eyes. 

Then he turns around, and leaves. 

iii.

The air is thick with smoke, hot and burning. 

There’s fire everywhere, and screams, and the terrible screeching of metal ripping apart. Sirens are wailing. 

The sounds of a ship dying. 

Hux is running, breathless, coughing, his lungs filled with smoke. His leg hurts so much it makes him tear up, but he can’t afford to slow down, not now. He has to keep going, even though every step feels like agony, and he’s stumbling and nearly falling. But if he stops, he dies. He’s not ready to die yet. Not like this, not in a random corridor of a Star Destroyer that’s falling apart around him. Not alone. 

It’s hard to breathe, and he’s trembling. Gripping his blaster is harder than it should be, but he can’t lose it, and he can’t stop, so he keeps going, looking behind himself to make sure no one is going to shoot him in the back. 

The whole ship shakes around him as it is hit by another blast, and the force of it makes him fall to his knees. Hux cries out as white-hot pain shoots up his leg, and he squeezes his eyes shut to get rid of the black spots dancing in his vision. 

He’s going to die here. 

He’s going to die right here, alone, and no one will ever know what happened to him, they will think he left the ship like a coward, and then, ultimately, he will be forgotten, because that’s what happens to people like him. 

They get forgotten, because they failed. 

His chest feels tight, and Hux isn’t sure if it’s because of the smoke or the pain or because of the frightening certainty settling inside of him. Maybe it’s a combination of all three.

Reaching out to steady himself on the wall, Hux tries to stand, but his legs give out almost immediately. He looks down, confused, and then gasps when he sees that his uniform is completely soaked through with blood. He must have lost a lot more of it than he’d thought. That would explain the dizziness. 

His mind is racing. There has to be a way to get out of this. But he can’t think of anything. 

If he doesn’t die, the Resistance will capture him, and that’s almost an even worse fate. 

He breathes in, ragged, and tries to tell himself it’s not a sob that comes back out, but ultimately, it doesn’t really matter, because no one is here to see him cry. 

Hux doesn’t entirely realize that he’s collapsed until the ship shakes again, and he feels the cold floor against his cheek, hard and unforgiving. He doesn’t think he has the strength to get up again, because the blood he’s smelling is almost definitely his own, and the floor beneath him feels slick. He’s lightheaded. The small part of his brain that’s not descending into panic is angry, because how didn’t he realize he was injured so badly until it was too late? He really does deserve to die here, for being such an idiot. 

His eyelids feel heavy, but Hux wants nothing more than to keep his eyes open. Keeping his eyes open means he’s still alive. That’s all that counts right now. 

But his gaze keeps blurring, and the black spots are plentiful, and he’s not sure how long he can still do this. 

The ship shakes, and there’s a shout. 

The shout is very close to him. 

With great effort, Hux lifts his head, tries to see who has found him. He blinks, and it takes him a moment to focus enough to discern who the dark figure is. 

It’s Kylo, running towards him.

Hux’s heart beats faster, adrenaline shooting through his veins, and he suddenly feels delirious with hope. It’s stupid, because things have changed between them, but he can’t help but be glad to see Kylo. 

Groaning, Hux tries to push himself up, but his arms give out under him. Before he can fall onto the floor face-down, Kylo is kneeling next to him, catching him, holding him close.

“What happened? Are you injured? Fuck, of course you are, shit. That’s so much blood.” 

Kylo’s voice sounds frazzled, hectic and breathless. He’s very close now, and Hux can see the details of his face; the scar, his moles, his white skin covered in ash and blood. But he seems unharmed, and that realization makes something unclench in Hux’s chest he hadn’t even realized was there. 

“Can you walk? We have to get out of here, we have to- no! Don’t fall asleep now!” 

Hux jerks back upright, blinking. He’s tired, all of a sudden, so very tired, and he hadn’t even realized his eyes were slipping closed again. He opens his mouth and tries to say something, but all that comes out is a cough, and then a wince as he accidentally jostles his leg. 

Everything hurts. 

He doesn’t want to die. 

“Stay with me, alright? Please.” 

Kylo’s voice sounds like it's coming from very far away. His face looks sad, like he’s about to cry. His grip around Hux tightens, and Hux reaches for him without deciding to do so, tangling his fingers in the fabric of his robes. 

“Please. Armitage. I can’t lose you.” 

At the mention of his first name, something jolts through Hux, makes him burn and ache and long, and he hates it, but he loves it a little bit, too. 

Kylo’s face is so close, and it’s more honest than it’s been in a long time. Hux missed it so much he can’t put it into words. 

He takes a deep breath, then nods. 

“I won’t,” he croaks out, and he really wishes he wouldn’t sound so weak, but it is what it is. 

Kylo lets out a relieved sigh, gathers him closer. Then determination settles over his features. 

“I’m going to get us out of here. Can you stand?” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Alright.” 

Hux almost snorts. Nothing about this alright. It’s the complete opposite of alright. But he keeps his mouth shut and grits his teeth as Kylo carefully helps him up, and when he realizes Hux truly can’t support his own weight anymore, he keeps him steady, and picks him up. It’s going to be hell to try and get away like this, but Kylo doesn’t seem to care, and a strange warmth, one he’d almost forgotten about, blossoms in Hux’s chest. It feels dangerous. He’s made this mistake before. He’s not sure he’d survive doing it again. 

But if they don’t get out of here fast, Hux will never have the chance to find out, and that’s the only thing he can focus on right now. That he doesn’t want to die here. 

“Armitage?” Kylo asks. “Are you ready?” 

Hux is more scared than he’s ever been before. He can barely keep his eyes open. His blaster is almost slipping out of his grip, and he has no clue how they’re going to do this, or what will happen after. But he knows there’s only one possible answer, one that he can feel deep in his core, because they have no other choice. 

Hux nods. 

“Yes.” 

And then they run down the corridor together.

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warnings:  
> \- Part 2 is set after TLJ, and deals with the aftermath of the events of the movie. This means there are references to Kylo hurting Hux as he does in canon  
> \- Thoughts about death  
> \- While it isn't super graphic, Hux is severely injured in Part 3, and loses a lot of blood
> 
> So! Here it is! The fic I keep forgetting to post! The title is taken from the song [Where You've Been Hiding by Oso Oso](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m64fDN84SmA).  
> Please tell me if I should add any tags or warnings because I'm sort of worried I undertagged this but I also can't think of anything more to add.  
> I hope you enjoyed this, and if you want to chat, you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/aelandair)!


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